Some people cannot say no, even if others abuse their kindness. They feel guilt and remorse for rejecting colleagues at work or relatives. Guide Online teaches how to say no and not worry about it. This process is long, but the result is worth it!
How to say "no" correctly: the main rules
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Think about yourself
People who constantly reach out to everyone with requests to help think first of all about themselves, but they do not worry about others. Why don't you follow the same path? It would be best to understand that your needs should come first and that helping others should not go against your interests. Therefore, before responding to a request for help, ask yourself, "will it not hurt me?".
Take your time with the answer
If saying "no" right away is problematic, especially when the request was unexpected for you, take a break. Consider carefully whether you have the time and energy to help a person, consult with relatives and friends. It is also possible that the beggar deliberately made a bet on suddenness and wanted to subjugate your will with a "snort". Having carefully weighed all the pros and cons, it will be easier for you to give a negative answer.
Try to find a compromise.
If you don't want to turn down an old friend or relative, but the terms of fulfilling the request do not suit you, you can attend the meeting on your terms. For example, if you are asked to substitute at work on your day off, say you will also need to work one day next week instead. If your conditions are also unacceptable for a person, you will part ways without mutual resentment.
Suggest an alternative option
Again, if you can't say no to the person outright because you're afraid of offending them, offer them an alternative way to deal with the problem. For example, if a neighbour asks you to help with repairs in the country, say that you will not be able to because you will be very busy with your affairs, but you have the number of a master who will help for a moderate monetary reward.
Be honest
Sincerity and honesty are the keys to a successful solution to any problematic situation. Tell the interviewer about it if you do not want to comply with a request. There is no need to evade the answer and invent unrealistic "excuses" — this way, you will lose even more respect in his eyes. So, for example, if you are asked to take the neighbour's child to kindergarten, do not hesitate to refuse, motivating it because you will not have time for work.
Avoid any manipulation
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Often, beggars begin to "push for pity", saying how hard it is for them to live, what a small salary they have, and that they have nothing to eat. Sometimes, a person needs support, but in most cases, they want to take advantage of your kindness. Fight the manipulators with their methods — say that you cannot help because you also have many problems and need support. Most likely, you will be unhooked.
Speak clearly
You will likely have to explain your refusal, but you should do it as clearly and succinctly as possible. If you let it be known that you are unsure of yourself and start to feel awkward, the suitor will take this as a signal to increase the pressure. Instead of muttering something like "Well, I don't know" or "The situation is complicated; I need to think about it," clearly say "I can't help you because I have my own business."
Don't apologize
A person who constantly apologizes will never enjoy the respect of others; instead, he will be used continuously. It's not you who persistently asks someone for help, so you have nothing to apologize for. You must be unyielding and unconditional in your views; otherwise, it will be easy for the beggar to convince you and impose his rules on you.
Use empathy
This method is suitable when your interlocutor is in a difficult situation and is not manipulating, but you cannot help him. For example, your friend has a family member who is ill, and he asks you to take him to the hospital, but this will lead to problems at work. You should say, "I feel very sorry for you, but I don't want to be fired." The negotiations should end there.
Set "boundaries"
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It will be easier for people to understand where you will refuse and where you can think about the request if you set the limits of what is allowed in advance. For example, you never stay at work on weekends because you always spend that time with your family, and no proposals are discussed. Another example is that you never borrow money at the end of the month because you have to pay off the loan yourself.
